In today’s day and age, many of us are in a state of constant stress, some of which is self-induced. To put this in context, let us draw a parallel. If you were purchasing a new gadget or some complex machinery, wouldn’t you spend time reading the user manual so you can use the equipment optimally?

What Causes Stress?

Now take the case of your body, which is probably one of the most sophisticated systems in the world. Your brain is capable of executing trillions of operations at a given time. We have over 70-80,000 thoughts every single day. Your body is built to handle innumerable tasks, and we end up underestimating its capability. Have you really spent time understanding how you can use this complex system, that is your body, efficiently?

If we are unable to handle stress, it is because we haven’t learnt how to use our body and mind more effectively. Let’s take an example of the various stress factors that we encounter in this journey called life. As a student, you are worried about how you can score well. Once you graduate, the stress shifts to thoughts of getting employed. When you do get hired, you start fretting about your performance. Later questions of marriage tend to stress you out, and once you’re married there’s stress regarding your spouse, whether or not to have children, and so on. It’s a never-ending cycle as you can see.

How to Deal with Stress?

The first thing to understand and appreciate is that life is not stressful per se; it is the perspectives we associate with certain experiences that tend to cause stress. There could be two individuals going through the exact same situation – one may perceive it as stressful, whereas the other could see it as a challenging situation and somehow make it work.

Stress often originates from overestimating the dangers in a situation, which is referred to as catastrophising. Dealing with stress is thus fundamentally about a perspective shift, and about raising your standards. Think back to when you were a student. If you were in a class that is highly competitive, chances are that you would rise up to the occasion and perform better. However, on the day of the exam you still encounter stress as you are expected to perform your best in those three hours or less.

This happens because it is different from your daily state of affairs. If you raise your standards – be it physically, emotionally, spiritually, then overall you will find that you’re doing much better in stressful situations. Next, we consider a common fear that many of us have.

Fear of Flying

Sam Harris, a neuroscientist, gives us the example of travelling by flight vs. travelling in a car. When the plane experiences turbulence, we panic and get stressed, even though statistics tell us that the number of aviation accidents is minor compared to road accidents. The problem is that our mind does not think rationally in such instances.

The Better Approach

If you learn to approach and see things a bit more rationally, you’ll find that you can handle stress a lot better. There’s also the question of what is the story we narrate internally in our brains, because this ends up influencing and creating the experience for us.

Take the case of an adventure sport such as skydiving or bungee jumping. We voluntarily participate in such activities that involve risk, primarily because of the narrative we feed ourselves. So, talk to yourself in a more realistic manner and ask yourself the right questions – what is the likelihood of a dreaded event happening, how bad would the impact be if it actually happened.

The thoughts that you choose to focus on will determine the level of stress you take upon yourself. As a recap, shift perspective, raise your standards, approach things rationally, and change the narrative. In the upcoming blog post, we go into granular details of things that you can do to practically make a difference in the way you handle stress. Continue reading and equip yourself with the tools to overcome stress.